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Friday, April 8, 2011

Battling the Dark Once More

I reach for the beauty through the darkness, grasp the stars to steal their light, reach for your heart through this madness, so I may gain wings and take flight.


Yes, I made that up, as you can probably tell, but oh well. In my defense it’s 1.17am and I’ve been tired all the time recently, thus making me weird.

Recently went out with Mitchele on Monday, we went and painted Taipan red whatever the hell that means. We had awesome fun, and since I’ve given it to her already, I guess it’s safe to say that the second portrait I was talking about in my last post? Yeah, it was of her, based on her Facebook profile picture at the time. She loved it, I’m so happy.
Really. Her reaction (which lasted like 20 minutes) made me ecstatic.

Anyways, other than that I’ve been just going through the paces I guess. I’m working out “E.T.” by Katy Perry and “Ballad of Mona Lisa” by Panic at the Disco on the piano. My own versions, cuz frankly I have to change the chordal pattern of E.T. a lot to fit classical piano more. ;D

Other than that, oh whoopee, I failed my darned Advanced Studio competency test. Apparently nobody made it past the first question so we’re all like “wtf??” At least the fist retake is free of charge. I intend to nail that one! Hopefully.

I can’t think of anything else right now, probably because I have a strong urge to either draw, write, or log onto Omegle and meet more new people. The first is probably because I just had a long conversation with Nat, a TH fan who is an incredible artist like you would NOT BELIEVE. The second, because, well, I feel like it. The third because strangely, I actually met a number of interesting, non-horny people. Cool.

So yeah, I guess that’s it for now. Pictures!

My portrait of Anna
Anna holding the portrait in her car! :)
Anna and me on our day out terrorising Taipan! :)
My first colour portrait ever - Bill Kaulitz from the early days.

This is Anusha, signing off cuz I am tired. Again.
If someone has a cure for lethargy, please do share.

Gnite

If I did you wrong,
if my words were too strong
I apologise, my friend
Our friendship will not end
Based on such minor setbacks
Neither can distance attack
Our mutual faith
For which only friendship can sate.

Anna! Good luck in Kedah!
No, I don't understand what I just said either, I'm spewing poetry tonight!
xoxo

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Shifting, changing, re-engaging.

Basically this thing has been a vegetable in the cyberspace world. Sorry but I've been busy and, well, yeah. Busy.


So sue me.

I've been swinging again. Always swinging. Like a pendulum caught in a never-ending jolt. I mean, one moment I'm inspired, the next I'm bored, then I just wanna partay, then I'm pissed as crap. It's not my fault people keep giving me crap. And pissed isn't an emotion I like wearing.. especially I seem to have gotten a strange knack for anger since last year. You know, the rush of blood to my neck and face, the icy fingers, the faint red tint to one's vision. The works.

The UNNECESSARY works.

He who angers you conquers you. So anger, get the hell lost. :)

On the other hand, I haven't been so nicely, physically inspired like this since.. well. Even I don't remember. One good thing about my crazy intense self during my crazy intense teenage years (okay okay... PREVIOUS teenage years, the ones before I turned 18) was that when inspiration hit me, it hit HARD. And GOOD. And I loved every bit of it

Anyways am I going off on a whinge again? Sorry then.

So, I am soooo in love ♥ with this song from Panic at the Disco, "Ballad of Mona Lisa". Thankyou Cookie for the recommendation. I have been so addicted to it! Their whole concept is so dark and hot and mysterious and sexy. Okay, well, Brendan Urie is sexy anyways. That's the singer's name right? I can't be too sure, but I'm too lazy to check so. Bite me.

Actually. He can bite me any day, baby. ♥ Haha!

Obviously if you've seen the video, you'll know what I'm talking about. (He plays a vampire/ghost/dead body. Guess he couldn't choose which he liked more? Leaving out the dead body, which I suppose was crucial to the story in the video.)




I've written two new songs, just finished one, and haven't got the bridge part for the other one, which is dedicated to my awesome girl Kishya. These people I do stuff for.. they keep me sane. ;)

I've also been accused of "getting my mojo back", which is a good thing I suppose, "because I got to see someone I haven't seen in forever" who supposedly is my "crush/old flame/ secret affair". WTF? ARE YOU FRIGGIN' SERIOUS? COME ON. First of all, my "mojo" as was so elegantly said, comes and goes for many strange reasons. And I've been on the inspired roll since BEFORE he told me bout the little reunion. AND he is one of my FRIENDS dammit. Sorry to disappoint you. Oh and HOW DID YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT MY BLOG? -.-

I'd have been more active if I'd known I actually had an interested audience. If you call yourselves interested.

ANYWAYS. Have been on portraits since last week. The first one I did EVER with colour (I used pastels. I'm no painter, so everyone stop asking if I paint) is... err, well. Kaulitz. You know, the lead singer of Tokio Hotel. Oh and that brings me to the recent MalaysianTH fanmeet I went to with my friend Nicky. It was so much fun, I'm actually really glad I went, I met a huge number of cool new friends, very talented people. Somehow we have this common uncommon streak, if that makes sense? Ah, TH fans. I should have delved into that sooner, back when I was really nuts about the band. THEN it would have been an emotional explosion, haha!

ANYWAYS the second portrait was for.. oh crap. I can't put it here yet. Well maybe I'll tell ya in the next post! ;D

SCHEISSE. Retake this Friday. Studio theory test, from my first sem. Arghhhh whyyyy. I should be studying, shouldn't I? Ahhh well.

My Advanced Studio lecturer, on the other hand, has informed us that our practical exam (conducted in the studio under high pressure and supershort time limits) will be next Tuesday. And I don't even know how to do the effects using the DCommand WTF! Sorry. Just needed to vent. I'll be fudged if I fail. And yes, when I say fudge I don't mean fudge.

Okay well, all this talk of exams makes me feel like (STUDYING!?) sleeping. That's right. Snoozing.

Wailing about the past
Whining about the present
Waiting for the future.

Nahhhh. I guess I'm usually more into the present. And I try not to whine. Ahhh.. I keep contradicting myself.

Anyways, cheers. And good... morning.

BTW Yes, I know someone said something about the layout, but I don't really wanna change it seeing as it goes so well with my bloglink. Gaze at the stars, and a background of stars, anybody see the connection? I'll go looking for another starry bg, I guess.

Ciaou.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Is it hard understanding I'm incomplete?

Hello, once again. Okayyyy, yeah. I've been away for a long time. But in my defense, I've been kept busy with other stuff, so. Yeah. Sorreeyy. :)

I just decided to drop by and update cuz I realised everyone else has updated recently, and yes, that means YOU (disregard this if you have no blog :P And no, LiveJournal doesn't count xP)

And sooooo. Yeah. I have loads and nothing to say at the same time. Strange, I know. What else is new? The title, btw, refers to a MCR song, "Famous Last Words". Been going through their old songs recently, and I fell in love ALL OVER AGAIN with the "Helena" video. Gerrard Way is SUCH a theatrical person. And his long black hair ♥
And his voiiiiice. And his faaaace. Hahaha, I could go on like this, but thankfully for you, I won't. :)

This whole thing has been brought on by their latest releases "NaNaNa" and "Sing". While "Sing" is kinda catchy, I feel it just doesn't compare to their previous efforts. Though I must say I totally dig Gerrard's new pink hair :D Even if he does die in the "Sing" vid, he dies very SEXILY :)

Okay. Yes, I have been watching MCR videos for far too long now D:

Hahahaha. Okay, moving on.

I guess I'm doing okay now, personally. Err, emotionally I mean. Nothing.. extreme. Because I have a bunch of really good friends, and three certified incredible people who will always try their best to be there for me.
Especially with the guy who keeps apologising for being away several months ago when I went through something horrible. It so wasn't your fault, my man. You were.. overseas. =_= And I lived, so. :) AND. Especially with me sharing a conversation with the girl from midnight til like.. hours later in the morning (when I had to hide inside my dark closet to muffle the sound of my voice from the neighbours). And telling her about something I never thought I could share with anyone else. At all. And she said it was okay. She took the horror and guilt away. You know who you guys are. Thank you :) For being there. Hope I can always do the same!

And I know I have more of you great people, who are just in the background right now. I love you all ♥


Okaaay. Now that that's over, I find it hard nowadays to express my feelings properly. Is that freaky or what? I used to be the most expressive, dramatic person evah. Hell. Whatever.

"But you really need to listen to me, because I'm telling you the truth, I mean this, I'm OKAY- Trust me "

Haha random, I know, but that was the part of the song I'm listening to that was goin on, and it just HAD to get out here. Like, I love that part cuz it's so sarcastic, since the whole song is basically screaming "I'M NOT OKAY!". So yeah.

I ♥ this song. I am SO hooked on MCR songs right now. Not all of them though. Just the best ones.

Scheisse. I can't stay longer. I have piano class tomorrow at nine in the morning. It's already 1.23am and I haven't completed all my homework. Big boo. =_=

Alright, ciaou then. And goodnight.

~So many bright lights to cast a shadow,
But can I speak?
Is it hard understanding?
I'm incomplete
A life that's so demanding
I get so weak,
A love that's so demanding
I can't speak~

Friday, August 27, 2010

Smile so bright, like a star~

Hey again♥

I know, I know. I should keep this thing constantly updated. Well, it's not my fault, there doesn't ever seem to be enough time nowadays. For anything that I used to love doing, come to think of it. Well.. I guess I'm just whining cuz now I have to start choosing between my fave old pasttimes :(

ANYweh, I have fallen in love all over again! And, no, it's not with a person xD It's with my piano. I mean, on a deeper level. Seriously, the day isn't done til I've played at least one song on it ♥ Screw long nails, now that I'm not totally obsessed anymore with a guy who resembles a high-end Barbie brunette, I guess I was always more of a short-nailed person anyways :)

Ohh, while chatting with a couple of my friends yesterday, they were talking bout their girlfriends (or boyfriends, for that gay someone ;) ) and they took me on a stroll down memory lane for a certain someone I was surprised to realise I wasn't completely over O_O So they were like helping me get my closure xD Which worked, I am glad to say :) And I wrote a SONG, encouraged by my friend who was also writing his own song xD Ohh, and I think now one or two people know a leeetle bit about my newest, (and probably will FAIL) crush o_o Man was I an open book yesterday or what? =_=

YOU ALL BETTER FORGET THE OVERLOAD OF INFO FROM LAST NIGHT xD

Oh and. Don't post anything in my cbox about the new one. If you know. Just in case xD

ANYWAYS. Haha.. moving on. The hols are... okay, not TOOOO boring because everyday usually has something new to keep me on my toes xD Meanwhile one of meh friends is OBSESSED with hairstyles for herself (yuuu know who yuuu areee.) which reminds me that I should get my own hair cut soon. Or maybe not... should I keep it a bit longer? Oh no.. now I'M debating about my hair =_=

Okay, basically I've been spending a lot of time at meh pianoooo ♥ And how could I not, really? ♥

OH that reminds me. My piano theory exam is like on the 6th of Sept. GAHHH. I have to MUG for this. After that I can hopefully take my Grade 7 theory next March. Or was it April? Whatever.

Basically, this means that I will be BACK AT OUR OLD SCHOOL on the 6th. Because, if you guys remember, I always had the advantage that our school hosts piano theory exams :)

Yeah. So anyway, my emotions.. what can I say? I have been swinging like a pendulum from one end to another, for most of this year. It isn't so bad now, though. But I wrote one more poem last week... sad sad xD Ahh the never-ending stream of emo poetry. It's either that or my funny limericks =_="

GAHHH I so love the new scent that drifts up to me constantly from my typing fingers. Like, my mom got some hand lotion from Crabtree and Evelyn, and I am sooo loving it. ♥ This particular scent's called "Wisteria" and I loooove it. So much. Almost as much as I love Body Shop's "Chymara", or their other one, the chocolatey one. Or their "Cinnamon Spice" ♥♥♥ Okay, obviously most of my scents come from the Body Shop xD Now you know :)

ANYWAYS, perfume aside, did I mention that I can now play and sing to "Zoom into Me" on meh piano??? GAHHHHHHH♥ Gehddamnit it was the inspiring sight of Tom playing that piano during the World Stage ♥ And Bill's voice of course! :D

LOL don't worry, I'm not gonna plague you with more Tokio Hotel mania, so you can relax now. BTW am so stuck on Blink 182's "Miss You" right now. It's like a wavering addiction xD Uhm, recently I've been singing all the old songs I used to pipe to before. Like the Rasmus, Ocean Avenue (Yellowcard), Hilary Duff (...YES I know), Evanescence, Backstreet Boys, and so on. Like, nostalgiaaaaaaa.

Welllll that's all for now I guess. I'm not gonna make it toooo long and boriiiing. So yeah, ciaou~

Err, to explain the title, at the time I was listening to some random song sung by someone I don't know.. I discovered it on FB, I believe xD Well if I can track down the title and singer, I'll let ya know ;)
Cheers.

Don't waste your time on me, you're already
The voice inside my head ♥
Missyou, missyou ♥

Sunday, August 1, 2010

THIS Is What I Live For ♥

MTV WORLD STAGE 2010
LIVE IN MALAYSIA


Yeah, I was so totally there. And yeah, it so totally rocked.

So, here's how it all started out - Kishya's dad came to pick me up round 1.45pm, at which point I was thankfully ready. I wore these black slacks and this long top which were new, and I wore MAKEUP. No joke, serious shit. The gold eyeliner, light gold eyeshadow, mascara. The works. Even all that blush stuff. My mom put it on for me, seeing as I have no pro makeup skills. Haha, I thought I looked a bit like a strange colourful doll in a dysfunctional paint factory O_O but whatever. It looked good, thanks to my mom :D

Kishya looked cool, she wore this black T-shirt, and a super-short skirt over black leggings. And her hair was perfect, as always. Mine was so NOT. Ugh D: But otherwise I think I looked alright. We were both calmly talking with her father in the car, I guess you don't really catch the hysteria til you're there. Anyway he dropped us off at Pyramid, and we wandered aimlessly around for some time while we texted Nicky who was on his way. I was busy bugging Sheila, a girl I met online, because she was supposed to meet me so I could buy the X-zone pass from her. Since both were still not in the vicinity, me and Kishya went over to the entrance to Lagoon, which looked deserted except for the small X-Pax stage smack in the middle of the area.

Nicky arrived then, with his friend Jasmine, she's cute. They were wearing matching T-shirts which apparently lit up when music played. Cool. I was the only one who looked more like Katy Perry (in her more normal outfits) than a crazy TH fan. But whatever. Then those two took off to get bottles of water, and me and Kishya decided to go down to the entrance. And. we. nearly. DIED.

The whole freakin' place was like full of people obviously waiting in front of some gate they constructed away from the main entrance. I just KNEW it was too good to be true. It was the whole Tokio Hotel-concert-in-May thing happening all over again. Except not all these people were dressed like Bill. I saw some Wondergirls posters, some obvious Bunkface fans, and people with Katy Perry's face blown up on their T-shirts. Anyway me and Kishya started panicking, well okay, I started panicking, and when Nicky called we had a fit trying to get him back there cuz they were like who-knows-where, but then they made it just in time before people suddenly started forming a thick queue. Then I was still panicking because Sheila hadn't shown up with my X-zone pass yet. I unfortunately started swearing at that point. She was supposed to meet me way earlier, so that's gotta be some sort of justification. Anyway, we spotted some dude with eyeliner on his face that made him look like the Youtube comedian Nigahiga, the thinner one. Lol!

I was starting to go on high-falsetto mode, which raises the hair on the back of your neck. Haha.. anyway finally this chick called and told me she had arrived, and she was wearing a pink tudung, and I described what I was wearing too. I finally spotted her, and even then it's like she wasn't sure if it was me or something. Jeeeeez. Anyway she was petite and kinda pretty, and I practically went down on my knees and did that whole bowing-thank-you thing. No I didn't, but I nearly did. xD Yeah so I paid her like RM190 for that freakin' pass ♥

Just in the nick of time, too. That's when they opened that gate, which is basically just two separate lanes heading to the entrance. Everyone started rushing, and I got separated from Kishyaaaaa :( And Nicky and Jasmine :( And then after being gleefully near the front of the express queue, I realised my handphone was missing and nearly had an aneurism. Thankfully I didn't, I just asked this girl next to me to hold my place for me, and I went back in search of Nicky and Kishya and Jasmine in the normal queue (separated from the express queue by those flimsy metal fences). Found them, got my phone, bid them goodbye, then made my way back to the girl, who after chatting up a bit, I found out was named Praveena. She's pretty, and I thought she was kinda familiar, but I don't see how I could have met her before. She wasn't one of the crazy TH fans from the May concert, cuz she wasn't there. And I doubt she's a crazy TH fan. Anyway, that was cool, she told me about how she met Katy Perry the day before at a Meet&Greet, and I was like wooooahh :O I wish I'd gone for a Meet&Greet with Tokio Hotel like I did in May :'( I wanted a second chance, darn it!

Anyway we finally started moving up, and they let us in several at a time. I was concerned that I wouldn't be near the front, and I waved as Kishya, Nicky and Jasmine in the normal queue went in first. Finally I was ushered along, they checked my handbag, and threw my water bottle away. Then I ran along, spotting some officials for the express lane as I went along, telling me not to run. Haha yeah RIGHT man. FINALLY after what seemed like traversing across the globe, I reached the huge, drained swimming pool which had a big stage erected at the other end. I had to slow down to avoid slipping but I still hurried nonetheless. I saw my friends but didn't stop because I was worried that the X-zone (enclosed with some sturdy metal fencing) would already be half full. Well, it wasn't yet, but the front was all taken. I pushed and subtly slipped my way to as close as I could get to the front, and ended up behind a girl hanging onto the fence holding us back from the stage. Well, not bad I guess. Jeez I was surrounded by these Wondergirls fans, one of them this petite boy from Singapore and his friends holding some heavy neon sign that he kept sticking into my side by accident. Ouch.

Well, we were waiting for what felt like forever, and it was so damned uncomfortable. Wasn't as bad as May though, because this time I made sure I slept and ate something before yesterday. The giant screen above on our right kept playing these annoying advertisements and also some music videos of the four featured artistes. Everytime Tokio Hotel, Katy Perry, or Bunkface came on, I cheered and sang along, with most of the people behind on my left. But the Wondergirls fans on my right were cheering just for their vids. -rolls eyes- ANYWAY, finally after what seemed like forever, the stage people started removing the covers from everything on stage,because did I mention it had been raining the whole time? Yeah. Heavily. They handed out these huge see-through plastic raincoats which took us all a lot of struggling to get on.

They then drew the huge black curtains, and we were left with wondering what was going on. Finally, a guy dressed in a stylish suit and top hat appeared - Veejay Utt! Another guy in equally cool clothes appeared too, Veejay Sean from South Korea. He's cute. They were followed by this pretty girl in a cute dress, Veejay Juju from China, and this HOT guy in a tux with a cane, Veejay Chris from Japan. Anyway yeah, they were just talking and stuff, promoting and getting the crowd wild and all. Then they disappeared and we waited a little while more, until -

Bunkface came out!!!! ♥ We Bunkface fans went wild cheering! I love them, ever since the Tokio Hotel concert in May (in which they were the featuring act) I've been really into them. Especially Sam, the singer :D And boy, is he hot. His hair wasn't blonde anymore, but his voice was as awesome as ever! Bunkface rocked us with about five or six songs, including Prom Queen, Revolusi, Through My Window and Extravaganza. The guitarist in front of me hardly glanced down at me, but Sam came over and spared me a look enough times to keep me happy :) Anyway, go Bunkface, I'm so proud that they're local! I decided after their performance that I was officially in love with Sam, a declaration I later forgot during Tokio Hotel's performance. But that was later.

Then they left and the curtains were drawn across the stage again. So then we were all back to waiting. The veejays came out again some time, talked and threw free stuff at the crowd, then went back in behind the curtains. I was a bit annoyed at the restless Wondergirls fans, but whatever, I don't blame them for wanting to see their idols. We knew they were next, it had been announced.

So then when the cutains went up, we all screamed our heads off, even me, because of the sight that met us - five huge cages at the back of the stage, each with a doll-like girl inside, stuck in different poses. Even if I wasn't a Wondergirl fan, I had to admit, I was impressed, and when the song started, no I didn't know what song it was, but I danced along with everyone else, as the girls slipped through the bars (one of them accidentally broke them and nearly stumbled) and danced towards the front of the stage. Then they performed songs that had us all dancing, and they were talking to us in heavily-accented English, and they were nice. Like, these same two girls kept coming over to my side because of the insane fans behind me (that stupid neon sign kept hitting my head). They smiled at me too, even though I wasn't too over-excited. They were pretty good, actually, their performance and their props (electric guitars, etc.). Best was their dance moves, though.

Then after they performed "Nobody" in a rock version AND slow version, they left and we were back to waiting. Some of the Wondergirls fans left, and the girl in front of me nearly fainted, which meant I moved up to the front. That was so great, although I felt kinda sorry for her. Anyway, we were waiting tortuously FOREVER, the rain became heavier again, and the Veejays came out to tell us that we had to patient and some nosh. Well, I guess we can't blame them, the rain couldn't be controlled, and anyway I sure as hell don't blame Tokio Hotel. Veejay Utt asked us if we wanted Tokio Hotel electrocuted, and if not, just be patient and I was like ".....". Anyway, again with the free gifts, and stuff. Then they vanished. We were waitinnnnng. It was dark by then, and I waited, trying to steady my breathing (I was a leeetle overecited by then). It took for-freakin-ever but then I believe there was a technical glitch with the cameras because of the freakin' rain. The water was actually at our ankles at one point. Jeez. I stared at the screen, glancing at the black curtain now and then.

Suddenly, the screen went off, and music started playing and. we. WENT. WILD. I am fcking serious, no joke, it's like most of us were TH fans, all insane. The curtains opened, and we saw Gustav at the drums, and Tom on the other side and Georg right in front of me. Freakin' awesome. "Noise" was the opening song, and BILL CAME UP FROM THE CENTRE OF THE STAGE OHMYGOD. It was epicsome! Yeah, I was totally crazy, cheering, singing at the top of my lungs and all. The works. All traces of fatigue suddenly gone, I was jumping and like clutching at the air as if I could grab the words right out of Bill's mouth. Haha! They played (not in order) "Noise", "Automatic", "Humanoid", "Hey You", "Human Connect to Human", "Dogs Unleashed", "World Behind My Wall", "Dark Side of the Sun", "Screamin'", "Zoom Into Me" and "Forever Now". Bill said that since this was their second time in Malaysia thanks to us, for bringing them there, they'd like to share a special song with us, something they had played before so many times and was special to them. I heard people yelling "World Behind My Wall", but somehow, I knew.. it was "Monsoon". It just had to be. That song WAS special, it really was. It had to be. And... IT WAS. They played "Monsoon" and I nearly cried, but I so didn't ;P Honestly it was beautiful. Their performance totally rocked, and with my crazy antics, Bill totally smiled my way (YESYESYES) but even that was not the highlight of my night.

TOM. Seriously, he was on the other side of the stage, but they switched positions a few times, and like, when he came over here, he was RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, seriously. I was still being insane (not too insane because I was trying to take pictures) and he caught sight of me (DUH.) because, of course I was right in front of him. And I'm tall. And I was majorly over-enthusiastic. But like, he didn't look away. IT WAS SO EFFING AWESOME. He was playing and looking down at me as I mouthed the lyrics, my camera totally forgotten as I stared right back at him. I mean, he did look around too, of course. But still, it was AWESOME.

He went back to his side of the stage, but came back soon enough. Again with the gorgeous gaze ♥ I was so caught up in it, I stopped yelling so much, and during "Screamin'", after the bridge (and the insertion of Monsoon's chorus, something they did at the May concert too), I stopped mouthing the lyrics for a while and yelled "Tom!" when he looked away, and he just smiled down at me ♥ I can't describe that rush I felt. I mean, that's what rockstars do, but still. During one of the two-minute breaks they took, I was just wondering if it was all my imagination. But then the Malay girl on my left turned to me and SAID something like "Dia asyik tengok kau je". Not her exact words, maybe, but that's what she said, so you can imagine my speechlessness. I was so thrilled, haha!

When they came back I totally paid Tom a lot more attention. Well, so what? Rockstars are rockstars, and this was totally fun! :D But he was more on the other side of the stage than on my side, and Georg was mostly looking out at the people at the back :( Bill was just... everywhere. He didn't keep eye contact as long as his twin did ;) OHMYGOD I am so never forgetting this! TOM YOU ROCK! ♥

Well, yeah they played "Monsoon", I mentioned that right? Then they left, but they came back for one last song - "Forever Now". I nearly cried. That was the song I always imagined myself yelling to, reaching towards the stage. And this was it. Another dream come true. I guess, just maybe, my life isn't trying to kill me after all. Not all the time, anyway. During the last song, although he was on the right side of the stage, Tom was facing my direction and I was like waving at him madly and he definitely saw that. He came a bit closer to the centre and I was like taking as many pics as I could. But he was more focused on the other people in front of him then.

After one of the breaks, I saw all the guys except Bill, and that's when he came out of the middle of the floor (again) and I was BLINDED by something but then I realised he WAS ON A MOTORCYCLE! I SWEAR I nearly died of joy, major lol! I mean, he is just SO DAMN HOT. His shades and his motorcycle.. I LOVE TOKIO HOTEL, say whatever you want about them. They just ROCK. Their performance was flawless, as always. Bill's strong voice, the deafening guitar riffs, the awesome bass and the pounding drums. I tried my best to capture it in pictures and a few short videos, but it was hard, the lighting was too flashy for that. And the dark just doesn't help a phone camera (they checked us all for proper cameras but couldn't take away our phones ;) haha) , not to mention being shoved around by people, clear, proper pictures are just out of the question. But I tried ;) And I'll post them up later.

God, I have so much more to tell. But I can't now, it's 1.33am and I haven't checked my theory homework for my piano lesson at 9am tomorrow. So, yeah.
Guess that means I gotta go. Goodnight guys. :)

TOM I LOVE YOU! (Not obsessed though. Never wanna go there again, especially if it's for Bill's twin now!)

TOKIO HOTEL ROCKS! MTV WORLD STAGE ROCKED!
And now I truly have to go :)
Goodnight!

Oh, did I mention last night I dreamt about Tom? Yeah. Already I'm more into Tom than Bill.. weird, eh? Just from all that staring xD
Okay, okay, I know I'm babbling.. buhbye :)

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Why is it that I can never keep something good when I find it?

Hey. I'm back again. I've been keeping busy, as usual.

Well I just watched Germany vs. Argentine, and Germany won! 4-0. Crazy or what? Yes, I've been dragged into all the football mania. Just stab me? Haha xD

Meanwhile, I've been spewing poetry like a lovelorn bard but am strangely dry on composing. Maybe it's because I'm not exactly rejoicing at prepping for my Grade 6 theory exam coming up. Whatever, I guess.

I'm screwing up my Audio exams at college. Wtf? Guess I'm not exactly a technical person, but c'mon. At least I can say I'm not always alone anymore. Though one of my new friends keeps catching me thus and wondering out loud "why you're always alone". Ah well. What can I say? I attract yet repel? Or I'm just a complete weirdo? But you already knew that. :)

I'm not drowning in pointless despair anymore, nor am I drenched with the slow-burning acid of depression. I'm not sure why, but hey, I say "ask no questions and you'll be told no lies" (Fred Weasley to Hermione). xD That made no sense, huh? Sorry. I guess once a Harry Potter fan, always a Harry Potter fan.

Anyway, should I mention that I won two passes to MTV World Stage 2010 at Sunway Pyramid? On my tenth try at their website on Thursday, I finally spotted that annoying little Junior thing and clicked my way to a day rocking with TH, Katy Perry and Bunkface! Awesome, huh? Then the very next day my friend Richard won too, and he said he'll give them to me for my friends. He's cool that way. So, I wonder who to take, one of my usual friends or my classmate Jeff? Cuz after Mitchele backed out, I have an extra ticket. So yeah.

There was an article in Star Metro today about some dedicated Tokio Hotel fans. I hope they get their passes, it was so sweet.

Moving on, I've been hungry for my old Goosebumps story books. Hahaha I guess it's more funny now than scary! I have no idea why I'm suddenly nostalgic for it. Jeez. Well, I've finally been getting a better grip on photoshop. Slowly. But surely? Haha.

Oh. That reminds me. I have Photoshop homework to do. Arghhh. Lol... you'd think I'd love this, wouldn't you? Even I have no idea what my problem is. Honestly, if only I could shake off this feeling that everything is a waste of time, I wouldn't be so damn unmotivated and lethargic. Just stab me. Okay, okay.. gotta stop saying that. What can I say? I'm morphing into a strange emo-ish creature! Not completely (yeah right), I'm still as multi-faceted as ever! Not faced. Faceted. Jeez.

Well I guess that's all for now. You know, I still have several people I gotta call, since like ages ago.. if they're reading this, well, just wanna say I'm really sorry you're waiting so long!
Heck, you might have even forgotten.

Well anyway that's all for now. Cheers.

~White sparrows fell from heaven and carried her away,
Black arrows cut the strings of my heart, I kneel and pray~

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Sorry bout that.

Hey, guys.. just wanted to let any of you who are waiting for pictures know that for some reason, I can't seem to post up any right now. Believe me, I've been trying since 11pm. And yes, I've been uttering enough expletives to fill a dictionary. An exclusively-rude dictionary.

So yeah.. sorry. Will try again tomorrow.

Oh, so today, I baked a cake! A chocolate one. And, uhm, chatted with some friends whom I miss a lot. Then I uploaded a lot of pics and edited them. Yeah that's pretty much it.

Everytime I come online I always forget what it was I had wanted to come online to do. Weird, right? Haizz.

Anyway gtg, I'm tired now. Ciaou.

~In my death, the light that shone through my
Painful darkness, was a blinding
Vision of your eternal smile~

P.S. The new sub-heading under "Resonance" are lyrics from one of my own latest songs. You like? ;) Lol I know it's only like two lines. Right.. bye :)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Wish I didn't have a heart...

...At least then the pain would stop.

Hello and sorry for having been away for like, ever. I've been really busy, so yeah.

Anyway, here's what I'm basically feeling right now: Listening to screamo songs and writing emo poetry. Jeez. I guess it's come to this.

Meanwhile, life has taken a definite upturn. I've been busy since last week, out like every day. Last week was supposedly a one-week-break from college, btw. Oh, and last Wednesday plus yesterday, no piano classes. Anyway, breaks aside, college today was decidedly more fun than usual, albeit more dramatic than usual too. So I suppose one would wonder why I was writing depressing poetry. I guess that might have something to do with my broken heart which is, of course, my own fault once again. Life sucks sometimes.

At least I can say that I'm healing rapidly into a state of not caring anymore. :D

Unfortunately, as with any other addiction, I still have momentary lapses. Except that mine doesn't consist of overdosing or whatever, instead just a lot of depression and "love sucks" emo songs. Not that it was love anyway... it was just me. Unrequited. Obsession. Blarghhh. How did I come to this?

So excuse me if I seem colder than usual. Because I also seem to be going through this phase of questioning stuff I never actually saw before. Which includes everything I once lived for with a passion. Now that the passion was torn away, not just from one thing but suddenly everything else too, life seemed meaningless for a while. Well, it's not like depression is new to me, but this is a different kind of low. Before, life may have seemed unbearable. But this... this lack of purpose, really sucked.

But like I said. I'm healing... recovering.

MOVING ON, I've got piano class tomorrow and homework to complete and check again. So yeah, can't stay long.

I've been out to Pyramid a lot lately. Well, four times anyway. Which to me is a lot. Anyway, it was fun, and most times with my friends, which was even more fun. Oh and today met up with Shaun and Vincent from my old school for lunch during my break. They wanted to see my phone, lol. That was fun.

Last week I went out with Anusha Phillip to Sunway, and just one day earlier, with two of my college classmates, Jeff and Richard. That was hilarious to no end, hanging with those guys. Meanwhile with Anusha (yes I know it's my name too, hardi-har-har) I tried on all kinds of outrageous outfits in the dressing rooms of certain famous stores, and tried sushi with her for lunch. Well not really sushi. I have a thing about raw fish.. or raw anything, really.

Pictures coming up in the next post, promise. :)

Well that's all I guess. For now.

Until next time, cheers.

~ I'll lose myself in anguish, for tonight
Help me get over you.... ~